Can you tell people I am a guy from Ohio and I have never been to Fairhope

January 11, 2020
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Can you tell people I am a guy from Ohio and I have never been to Fairhope

Can you tell people I am a guy from Ohio and I have never been to Fairhope

“I was in college for physical therapy and we were visiting my wife’s family in Fairhope for Christmas. My mother-in-law told me I was scheduled for a job interview at 9 a.m. where she got physical therapy. She said he wants to meet you and hire you when you graduate. I borrowed a suit. She said his name is Brian and dropped me off. Brian spoke with me for about 30 minutes and gave me a tour. Then he asked, ‘What brings you in here today?’ There was no job and Brian said there is no way I could get a job because everyone had been there for about 15 years. No one was planning on leaving. I was really happy with my mother-in-law but left him my resume. After I graduated, we moved to Texas for six months and hated it. I got a call from Brian saying he was looking at hiring someone and saw my old resume in the pile. We immediately packed our bags. I give my mother-in-law credit for us living in Fairhope today.

The Fairhope Inquisitor started about four and a half years ago before the last election season. I get stupid ideas that make me laugh and want to do something with them. The first post was a completely ridiculous and fake story that the Fairhope historic clock was changing to digital. At work later that morning I heard a guy in with Brian who was mad about something. He came out talking to his wife on the phone and said they were going to City Hall to fight the digital clock tooth and nail. It surprised me that someone had read something silly I wrote and reacted.

There have been posts about making Fairhope golf cart only and a Gulf Shores tourist enraged to find his Alaskan king crab legs and Maine lobster weren’t sourced locally. The stories are silly but sometimes the regular readers have to remind those who are confused or offended that this is satire.

A recent story about changing the colors of the Blue Angels from blue to red was one of the biggest ones. It was shared a thousand times and made it into Trump support groups and Fox News Facebook groups. It became political and some said the color blue was offensive and they didn’t want the planes to be blue anymore. It was about time we changed them to red. The red planes in the picture were from the British Royal Air Force and I wrote that there were Martians in the crowd, but people just read the headline and shared the story thinking it was real. Others shared it as a fake news alert. I learned that day how anything can be made political.

People get hung up on the little things, but the little things make me laugh. Fairhope is quirky and sometimes takes itself a little too seriously, but we have to take a step back and laugh at ourselves. It is painful to see how hard local people can be on each other. They say things online to or about their neighbors that they would never say to their faces.

I will be at home or work and something stupid pops in my head and makes me snicker. Within ten minutes I have written the story, added a picture, and published it. I have learned a lot about photoshop. The more followers The Fairhope Inquisitor gets, the more cautious I get. It makes me appreciate real comedians who aren’t afraid to put it all on the line. I love food and would be just as happy reviewing that.

Can you tell people I am just a guy living in Ohio and I have never been to Fairhope? Or that I get ideas from an alley cat that hangs out around Panini Pete’s that speaks to me in a human voice?”

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