“I grew up in Fairhope. My family has been here for generations. They call me Dash because my name is Douglas Ash. I have been all over the world but I came back because we have the prettiest women in the world. You have heard of a stand-up comedian. I am a sit-down comedian. I like to make people smile. If you can’t dazzle them with your charm, hit them with your bullshit.
I have been in a wheelchair for more than 40 years. I was stabbed in the back when I was 22 years old. I stopped in Austin, Texas and gave a white girl a ride home from work because her car broke down. We started talking. After I dropped her off, her boyfriend followed me to the beach. I got out and went to the bathroom. I came out and he stabbed me three times. Twice in the back and once in the back of the head. After he stabbed me, he realized he misunderstood. I was just helping her because the motor burned up in her car.
I got into drugs for a lot of years. I have had two brain surgeries. I am not supposed to know my name. I have an aneurysm on my brain. They told me if I have another surgery and live through it I will be blind. I am already crippled and crazy. I don’t need to be blind, crippled and crazy.
I let drugs go and turned it off like a light switch. I gave it to God. He is good all of the time. When you give things to God, He will soothe your mind. I don’t care what problem you have, God will take care of it.
I couldn’t read until I was 35 years old. No one knew. I built houses and was a welder. My ex-wife didn’t know. I told her you never noticed you didn’t get love letters in school. She said you were so smooth that you didn’t need them. I was smooth and hid it. I learned how to read by reading the Bible.
My wife and I are divorced. She checks on me every other day. She is still the love of my life, but I won’t get married again. I did my 30 years and got out on bad behavior. I promised the warden I wasn’t going back. My two daughters are doctors. One is a doctor of education and the other is an anesthesiologist. I am proud of them and they take care of me. They made sure I saw the world.
I do small engine repair. Lawnmowers, chainsaws, wheelchairs, I can repair anything. I am honest with people and fair with my prices. I also make jewelry.
I am always in pain. I am in pain right now, but I don’t take anything. I pushed the chair to Point Clear and back today. I have pushed the chair 25 miles in one day. I have a chance to meet more people and share smiles and God from this chair instead of my electric chair.
I am 63 years old the hard way. I have seven grandkids and life is good. I missed a lot, but I wouldn’t trade my life with anybody.”