“I was a single mom for ten years and had three kids. I got pregnant when I was in high school and my life went down from there. I lived in public housing was on food stamps. I grew up in a two parent home with a father who had his own business and provided well for our family. The way I was living was not how I was raised. My family loved me anyway and they were the only people who didn’t judge me. People see you using food stamps and think the worst of you. I didn’t want to depend on the government but I didn’t know how I was going to make it. Public housing and food stamps were the stepping stones that helped me out. My daughter was diagnosed with cancer when she was two. She is now 12 now and in remission. After all of the doctor visits with my daughter and the miracles we had with her, I wanted to become a nurse and care for others going through hard times. I also wanted better for my kids. It was going to be hard to get there from where I was.
I created a vision board with pictures of where I wanted my life to go to have a goal and vision. There were pictures of a nurse in a uniform, a house, a car, a bank account, a husband with a job, a wedding, and a family. There were days I was so down that I didn’t want to wake up. The vision board became the reason to get up. Every day I prayed for the goals on the board. I got pregnant and that set me back a year. I used my income tax refund to hire a nanny to keep my kids while I went to school. I had trust issues because of things that happened in my childhood and didn’t want that to happen to my kids. God brought a white lady to us. Some people looked funny at me having a white nanny, but I loved her to pieces. I couldn’t work during nursing school and would run out of money to pay her. I was stressed and crying and she would take the kids anyway. She was like their second mama and she got me through so much. I will never be able to thank her enough for helping us get through that time.
Slowly the vision board came to pass. I became an LPN. I got a car. I thought finding the right man would be hard because what man would marry me with three kids? I was never able to settle down and was looking for love in all of the wrong places. My best friend introduced me to a friend of his and that was it. We met in December and by March we were married. We connected from the day we met. I asked him how he felt about sex before marriage and he said I respect your wishes. He is the first person I ever dated who said that. I had been in domestic violence relationships and he took all of the pieces of my heart and put them back together. We have been married for a year. He treats me like a queen, but it has been hard to adjust from a life of fighting for everything on my own as a single more to a partnership. Our first argument was over dishes. I moved into his apartment. We were downsizing and I tried to throw his grandmother’s dishes away and he said no. Those dishes stayed.
My husband made his own vision board and put twins on it. I tried to fold it up and lose it. He wants to be a preacher, so he put preacher on his. I made a new board and put preacher’s wife and RN on mine. I also put music notes on mine because I want to join the choir and sing a solo. We put a house on both of our boards, too. All of these things will come to pass. I believe he is going to get those twins.
I learned not to fret over the small things in life. The trials and tribulations are so hard for single mothers trying to raise kids and make it on their own. Don’t give up, you are going to make it.”