It hit bottom sitting on my porch smoking a blunt, drinking a Thunderbird and crying because my gas was cut off

September 24, 2017
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It hit bottom sitting on my porch smoking a blunt, drinking a Thunderbird and crying because my gas was cut off

It hit bottom sitting on my porch smoking a blunt, drinking a Thunderbird and crying because my gas was cut off

“The ministry God gave me is ‘Loving Thou Neighbor as You Love Yourself,’ Luke chapter 10, verse 27 and we do outside events. I am also a home health nurse. I wasn’t raised in the church but God saved me from the streets because I used to be homeless. I know how it feels not to be loved, to have hard times and to be mentally, physically and verbally abused. I never saw my daddy a day in my life.

We stayed in a shelter for two years in Detroit and lived in the roughest, toughest neighborhood in New York that you could imagine. When you walked out the door, there were drug dealers right there so we couldn’t go outside. My babysitters were drugged up and my mama was sick on dialysis. It was life for us, the only thing we knew. I was pregnant when I was 12, my son is 24 now.

When I was 15, we moved to Mobile from Detroit. My mother was the gypsy type who traveled a whole lot and I experienced a lot as a child. I moved to Mobile smoking weed and cigarettes and on valium. I started that about 15 or 16 and went to a whole different level of alcohol abuse and domestic violence when we moved here. I didn’t know how to take care of my child.

I didn’t have a real relationship with my mother until I was 18. I used to put a bottle in my baby’s mouth and leave him with my mama for days and days. God gave me two years to make up for all the years I caused her pain, hurt and tribulations. I named my daughter after my mother, Rosa Lee Wright. I didn’t know I would only have two years with her but she passed away from kidney disease. She was on a kidney machine for 22 years. A lot of important people in my life are gone.

My lowest point was when I was staying in the Roger Williams projects and my daughter’s daddy shot me with a 12-gauge. We fought all of the time. I was trying to go to church but my house was like a refugee camp with the wrong people. I had drug dealers in the house and cocaine in the washing machine. There was weed and guns in the closet. All kinds of crazy things. I was on pills and weed. There was a shooting on the avenue in 2002 and I spoke it on myself. I said I wanted to see some blood, I missed the shooting. When you are in the world you are attracted to things of the world. I liked the drama and the adrenaline and the dangerous role. I wanted to see some blood, but I saw my own blood that night and it was over me saying that they didn’t clean up my kitchen. He was my best friend and shot me. I never pressed charges.I thought that was love. We would fight and I got beat all of the time. You get addicted to the pain. That is another story.

I hit bottom sitting on my porch smoking a blunt and drinking a Thunderbird with one of the guys who is now my husband today. I was crying because my gas was cut off. I was 22 and said life had to get better that this. I had just had my daughter and I was tired of being sick and tired. God took my peace, I could no longer be comfortable in the world. When I was sitting on the porch smoking the blunt, I was looking for peace. The older ladies behind me were praying for me because my house was out of control.

When I was in the world, I hated being alone because I couldn’t stand being with myself. Something was always missing and I kept going through different men to find completeness or the missing piece. It was in God all along. People don’t know what they are running for. What are you in a hurry for? God brings the wholeness and completeness on the inside of you so you can have your peace and confidence. Amen. That is what I try to enlighten in a lot of people. This sounds crazy, but I always knew there was a God who was there for me and I wrote love letters in my journal to Him.

I am older now and in a better mindset. The Bible says all things work together for the good of those who love God and there is a reason I went through all of that. The streets is my ground and where I am comfortable ministering. I don’t need a pulpit and microphone and at my church, I usher and clean up the toilets. When God put “Loving Thou Neighbor” on my heart, we were at a club in an area with prostitutes and drugs. Going to that event, driving by Mobile Infirmary, I heard “Well done,” and I knew it was my daddy, God’s voice. My daddy is God.

“Loving Thou Neighbor” started last year, August the 6th. God sent me into the broken, dark places and showed me these are the Nazarenes. In the Bible they said, could anything good come out of Nazareth? Jesus, the King of Kings, came from Nazareth. He sent me out to let people know there is a jewel down on the inside of each of us, even in the dark places and the dark valleys. Everybody has their time and season. One plant, one water, and God gives the increase.

Today we have outreach ministries that target youth, young ladies and the homeless. We bring praise and worship music as weapons of warfare to shift the atmosphere so people can receive the message. We surrender it to Him. Me and my husband both come from the street. They watched us on that side and to see us now and they know it had to be God changed us. People are looking for change. Me laying out on the streets is not where it is at but God has used that to minister to the soul where it will stick. Some of my neighbors are white and have been saved in my living room. Love is love and doesn’t have any color. I understand some people aren’t ready and I love them on the level they are on.

Changing is a process, but I never looked back. There was too much at stake. My life was on the line, my children’s lives were on the line and I had to change for them. All of my children have different daddies but my husband raised them. My children all love God. My son is a football player at Blount and could have been a thug, but God flipped all of that around and he has a 3.2 GPA. My kids have been through a lot and seen a lot. I look in the future and see greatness with my children getting established and me traveling and going to the next level of ministry.

I tell people wherever your passion, drive and zeal is, that is where you are supposed to be. That is who God created you to be. I want to take this to Detroit and New York. The places I lived when I didn’t know any better but I went through there and have to leave a mark there. The assignment is to save people who are hurting like I was. I am a mother, sister and friend to so many different people and iron sharpens iron when we come together. This is all God and has nothing to do with me. I never thought I would make it this far. I was supposed to be dead a long time ago.

Life. These are the cards I was dealt with and what I grew up with. This is the first time I have told my story like this and it is strange to me that you can’t imagine what life on the streets is like. I am just Queen, girl. I will clean your house and cook for you. Just a regular human being. To God be the glory.”

3 comments on “It hit bottom sitting on my porch smoking a blunt, drinking a Thunderbird and crying because my gas was cut off”

  1. Love this you’re so awesome

  2. Latina moore says:

    That’s was an amazing story I loved u reading it cause u touched me in a lot of places

  3. Delores Campbell says:

    Sis! I never knew your story. Your testimony blessed me, it really did! U desire and dreamed I went to New York and did street ministry. Wow! One day I am gonna give my testimony. Its so much it will have to b n a book but I will tell some of it! To God be the Glory! When I look back over my life and it was the mercy and grace of God that I am still here! I know now why he allowed me to live when most of my friends from the streets are DEAD. Thank you God!! Love you Sis! Looking forward to your upcoming events. We gonna do it for Jesus!! I owe him my Life!

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