“I got angry when I found out I had breast cancer. My sister was 28 when she died from liver cancer and my dad died from prostate cancer two years ago.  I was doing a whole foods, plant-based diet and exercised all of the time. What did I do to deserve this?  Now the question is why have I had such great success when other people die with it? Or why a two-year-old dies from leukemia and didn’t have a chance to live her life and I have had a full life. I have questioned it both ways. 

I had breast implants and there was a lump along the scar. I thought it was just scar tissue from the implants, but I went to a plastic surgeon to check it out. Cancer never crossed my mind because after my dad and sister died, surely no one else in my family would get cancer. The doctor told me to get a mammogram just to rule that out. I am 42 and never had one. I went in February. They took multiple pictures, and I knew from the looks on their faces when they said I needed an ultrasound that it wasn’t good. They said it was very suspicious. The nurse handed me a cancer navigation sheet with phone numbers.  I thought, don’t tell me I have cancer. My husband’s first wife died of cancer and I couldn’t put him through this again. It was Mardi Gras and my doctor’s office was closed, so I had to wait for a referral. It was two weeks before they could get me in. That was a horrible, dark time. I lost ten pounds from the time of ‘you may have cancer’ to ‘you do have cancer,’ and the stress of the unknown. I heard cancer and chemo and thought I was going to have a sick, drawn-out death. My mom and husband were devastated to go through this again. My mom said she had to keep one of her daughters because dad has my sister with him.

There were so many people praying for me. By the time they told me I had cancer, I had peace about it. At least I knew what was happening. My stage was lllC. Out of all of the breast cancers, I had one of the easier kinds to treat. I also did a few alternative treatment options. I did a cold cap during chemo and lost some but not all of my hair. My husband was my capper. I did high dose vitamin and antioxidant supplements a few days after my treatments and I think I bounced back from treatment faster. 

After the first chemo treatment, I felt good and couldn’t feel the lump a few weeks later. I had a complete pathological response until there was no evidence of the disease. I knew before they told me. We went camping the weekend before the second treatment and I was overwhelmed with God’s love. I realized I hadn’t done anything wrong to get cancer. God didn’t have a big chalkboard with check marks counting up the bad things I have done. It was a beautiful day and the few clouds looked like stripes. God spoke to me and said, ‘By my stripes, you are healed.’ I knew that God healed me. I still had to go through five more treatments, radiation, and surgery, but God was with me all of the way. I know He will never leave me.

Surviving has made me more relaxed and I have learned to live more. You never know when you are going to get a diagnosis like this. But there is always the worry that the cancer will come back. If I have a headache, I worry that it has metastasized to my brain. I want to start each morning with a scan to show that my body is all clear.  I still have to remind myself to be positive. I have a new purpose and want my story to be for God’s glory. I volunteer at the cancer center and want to encourage other women through this. Even if it is just to offer a warm blanket and pillow, or hold their hands and help calm their fears. 

 I am thankful to be getting to the other side and to start celebrating the anniversaries of survival.”