“I am searching for clarity. My mom kicked me out on my 18th birthday over her husband. My stepsiblings were envious of me because I had a job and was going to school and started doing things to make me look like I was the bad person. I lived with a stranger but a man doesn’t take you in without expecting sex. Then I fell in love with a woman. She was my world until she cheated on me. I am about to become homeless again and my family doesn’t care about me. My mom said she would have gotten an abortion when she was pregnant with me, but she was too far along. I was molested when I was five by the man I called my father and still have nightmares. My mom said he was let out of jail for good behavior. His family called me a tramp and whore when I was five and I can still hear him say, ‘I thought you were your mother.’

I have worked since I was 15 because my family didn’t pay for anything and I had to take care of myself. I would give the shoes off my feet to help someone else, but I don’t get anything in return. No one cares about me. I feel like I am worthless and don’t deserve to be here. Every stab in my heart goes deeper and deeper until I don’t want to have a heart that feels anymore.

I hang on to my dreams. I want to be a physical therapist and have my own practice. I want to encourage people not to let injuries control them and help them push through the pain to get to their goals. I hurt my ankle and had a great physical therapist who encouraged me and is the one who believed in me. I want to be that for someone else.

 The water is giving me clarity and peace today. I am going to be okay.”