“I’m starting over and moving to a different state.  I designed this shirt for my new life.

I’ve lived with thoughts of suicide most my life. The worst were in my thirties. Once I start thinking about suicide, it becomes all I think about. Eats me up. It’s like wanting eggs and bacon for breakfast but not having it in the kitchen–can’t get happy with cereal or something else. I keep thinking about it until I drive to the grocery store to get the eggs and bacon. I couldn’t stop the thoughts until I tried to kill myself. I had to change, or I wasn’t going to be here much longer. I’m sixty and still have those moments, but I can now go to the store, call a friend, or do something at that moment to get my mind off of it. That’s the trick. But things can’t get better if we don’t know how. 

If you’ve never experienced thoughts of suicide, it’s hard to understand or know how to help. When someone feels suicidal, it’s real. But even in the darkest times, there was a little light and hope at the end of the tunnel. When I told my family I was leaving, my sister and brother-in-law bought me a Ford Escape so I would have a good car. Escape. That’s exactly what I’m doing. 

Maybe one person will be saved from something I said. Sometimes, you gotta make changes. That sums it up right there.”