This is my first Christmas to be home. I am off the naughty list

December 25, 2016

“This is my first Christmas home in five years. I was living up north and it was miserable for me and I got divorced. I walked away and left everything, cars and trailer. I took two bags of clothes and my cat. No one would buy my car so I traded it for a picture of Al Pacino smoking a cigar in a bubble bath. I came home three months ago and started over from nothing. No house, no job, just the clothes on my back. Now I have a place to live and a job. I walk to work and I am saving for a car. I grew up on Dauphin Island. I have some family here but most have moved or passed away. Leaving up there was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was lost in the dark spiritually. I gave my heart to Jesus and was saved. I have started over before and I am not scared and just putting one foot in front of the other. When I was in the darkness I had an ugly view of the world and didn’t belong.”

“This is my first Christmas to be home. I am off the naughty list. I am living with my mom right now and people have given me furniture. Growing up, I had a difficult relationship with my mom because I was rebellious and out of control. We didn’t get along well. This is the first time that we are bonding and connecting. I have been given a chance and I am alive again. Look at my driver’s license photo. That was me before I left. I look like I was 75. That was just three months ago.”

“Walking to work has been healthy. I have lost 15-20 pounds. It is also my time of meditation. I downgraded to just a simple phone. I had to get to the root of my unhappiness. I feel like a garden in bloom here and I am sowing good seeds in my life. I have learned about God, love and forgiveness. My father, John Kochis, died three years ago and I was doing drugs and drinking, trying to cope with losing him. I thought I heard his voice say from beyond the grave, ‘You are on the path of darkness, but you need to be on the path of light.’ That became my mission. I started searching for my path of light. But the darkness came from a difficult past and an abusive childhood and darkness was normal. I had addictions and there were days I thought I would die there, alone, unhappy and unloved. My family turned their back on me when I divorced my husband. Family and friends divorced me, too. I was in a minimum wage job and didn’t have the money to move home over 1,000 miles and I didn’t see how I would do it. I hadn’t seen my mom in three years, but she came to town because my son was sick. She wasn’t going to see me while she was around, but my car broke down and I called her to give me a ride to work. Sitting in the back seat of her car I said I never thought I would end up like this with two broke down cars and living in the ghetto. After I said that, she felt something sour in the back of her throat and knew I would be dead in less than a month if something didn’t change. It took everything I had not to die addicted to drugs. I believe it was Gods’ plan that my mom came and saved me. He had been with me the whole time. I have a brand new life and have been born again. I feel like a butterfly emerging from my cocoon.”


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