I am the 54th great grandchild of King Edward the First, but I am the illegitimate side through his French maid. I sell kilts. Originally a kilt was material wrapped around, but the families got so big and confusing that they needed a tartan to identify themselves. You feel manly wearing a kilt because you don’t wear underwear. If you wear underwear, a kilt becomes a skirt. There was no underwear in the 1600’s. It is a little tough on cool mornings, but it is long enough that it doesn’t blow up. I have two relatives that fought in the Civil War. One fought for the South and the other fought for the North and they were both killed on the same day at Gettysburg. My mom worked at summer camps in Alabama, Mississippi, and Louisiana. She was over there for seven years. I need to stop drinking and save up so I can go see the South.
Good enough isn’t an option. It’s got to be the best I can do.
“I even make my sandwich backwards. I put my bottom piece here and my bun here. And then whenever I eat it, my bottom...







Hmm…”manly” you say…naughty is perhaps …more accurate…TMI baby…