“I have been cleaning rooms all my life. I worked at Mercedes, but my transportation got bad on me and I couldn’t go back. I took a job with lesser pay. I am a single mom with five kids. Our lights have been turned off for two weeks so we don’t have heat and I can’t cook. It is getting cold in the house and we bundle up together in the bed at night and try to stay warm. They are charging me $533 to turn my lights back on. I have knocked it down to $359. I will get them back on next Friday when I get paid. I haven’t been eating or sleeping. I just try to make sure my kids are okay.

We were living in a motel before we moved into the house. I paid $1800 to get into the house, $800 to get the lights on and more for other deposits. It is getting harder and harder. I make $8 an hour cleaning motel rooms and get paid every two weeks. I was cleaning rooms somewhere else, but they found out I was living in a motel with my kids and made fun of me for being homeless. I got tired of that and quit. My 13 year old sent me a note and made me feel special. She said ‘mama I know times are hard for you. I am tired of you crying and upset. I am doing everything I can. I am trying to play basketball but it is taking money out of your pocket. I wish I could get a job to help you pay the bills. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel down because you are doing the best you can for us.’ My children keep me going.

I have an app on my phone to let me know when jobs are available. Yesterday I got accepted for a second job and start this afternoon. I have worked three jobs before. I have to choose between raising my kids and paying the bills. But if I don’t pay the bills, where are we going to go?

My baby told me to keep my head up and to smile to keep from crying. She said, ‘just smile mama, it is going to be okay. God isn’t going to put any more on us that we can bear.’ But I feel like I am there. I couldn’t get them what they wanted for Christmas and that broke my heart. I got them a few things, but I had to choose between Christmas presents and paying the light bill. I chose presents because I didn’t want them to feel like the only kids who didn’t have a Christmas. I bought each one of them a pair of pants, a shirt, boots, and a toy. I did all I could.

I used to try to help people and gave them the shirt off my back. It hurts I can’t do that now. A lady walked up to me and read me. She said, ‘you are going thought a lot, but God is about to provide you a way.’ I hope she is right because I am in a dark place right now. I lost my mom and dad. My grandmother’s funeral is tomorrow. My grandmother was the last person I had who was close to me. Now she is gone and I feel alone.”