“I lost my little brother when I was seven. Thomas lived in the NICU at Children’s Hospital for the first two years of his life. He came home for a year and got sick and passed away. Life with Thomas was fun and adventurous. He was in pain and spent a lot of time in the hospital, but he was always joyful. We called him ‘Happy Feet’ because every time we walked into the room his feet would kick. Got puts people in places, even for a short time. Thomas couldn’t speak, but he changed so many people and we all saw God in him. I hope his light still shines through me. I was seven when he died. I understood Thomas went to heaven to be with Jesus and he wasn’t in pain. As I got older, it was harder to understand and deal with his death. I didn’t get to see his first day of kindergarten. There will be no prom. There are many things he didn’t get to do or wasn’t meant to do. I feel guilty that I am here and he is not. What gives me the right to be here? I have to accept that I won’t have the answers I need in this life.

There was a lot I experienced in childhood that most people won’t experience until later in life. I learned to love boldly. I love seeing the world and experiencing new things. But I still struggle with not being enough. I have big dreams and plans. What if my imperfections hold me back from those?  I have a great group of friends and we talk about real stuff. We walk alongside each other and support each other. Worrying about what other people think is just wasting your time. None of us know how much time we have left. I am so thankful to be here and I have to make the most of this life God gave me. I want God to say I did everything I could to help someone else and spread His love.”