I want something I can be proud of

June 29, 2018

“I was born and raised here. I left and went to work in Florida and Georgia. I have a history of depression and anxiety. I can’t stay in one place too long because of my anxiety. There are too many people around and I get jittery and say to hell with this. It is a struggling battle. I just came back here and trying to get into the program at Salvation Army and I hope they let me in. I haven’t had my medication in three weeks. It is hard without it and I stay by myself. It is great when it is calm, like right now. I have a place to lay down where no one messes with me. I had a job during Christmas and fell off the deep end. I was in Sarasota. I need stability to get on my feet. It starts with the medicine and a place to stay, an income, friendship, and support. Looking like I look right now would you hire me? There is nowhere around to take a shower. It is hot, sweaty and rainy. My family members are done with me. They told me if I want a relationship I have to get my shit straight. They tried to help and now I am in tough love and I don’t blame them. Alcohol got me here. I got divorced in 1986 and my mom died in 1987. It was downhill from there. I want a regular, ordinary life, just like you. I wish people would see people like me as an ordinary person, down on my luck. I have screwed up but I am a human being just trying to survive. So many look down on people like me and think homelessness is the drunk on the corner. It is not that. I just hit bad luck and never got out of it. I want to look back and have something I can be proud of. I don’t have anything to be proud of. I am still here, I guess that is something.”


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