“Hurricane Frederick came in and blew houses down, but it gave me a husband. I met Orazio after the hurricane. We went to the Prichard complex to get our food assistance and to fill out the paperwork to get our house fixed. Orazio was in the military
and helping. He walked me to my van.
I was supposed to meet him at the ship the next morning. I didn’t want anyone to think I was a prostitute so I didn’t go. About a month later, my brother and my sister-in-law made me go with them to the skating rink. Sunday night was soul night at Skate Haven. Orazio was there. I asked him if he remembered me. He said yes, but he was lying through his teeth. That boy could dance better on skates than shoes. He could flip and jump over people.
He wrote my number on his hand, but he didn’t call me. I didn’t go to the skating rink for another month, but he was there again. My number sweated off his hand while he skated. He said he had been coming back every Sunday night to find me.
I was scared to bring a white boy home to meet my dad. My mom was a cook at a boarding house and got home a little later. Dad met her at the door and said ‘there goes your white son-in-law in there.’ My parents didn’t say anything about it. Orazio and I courted for three months and got married. We were married for 41 years.
When I first met Orazio, he told me his name was Bobby. He gave every girl he met a different name. When the girl showed up at the ship, no one would be there by that name. He told them if someone comes looking for Bobby, come get him. But I never went there looking for him. He had a little black book, but I tore it up. I have called him Bobby ever since.
We have five beautiful children. One boy and four girls. My son is the oldest, he was a Major in the military. He just retired. My oldest daughter and her husband have their own business. The second daughter will graduate medical school in May and the third is a licensed independent insurance adjuster. The baby girl is a registered nurse. All five went to college. God blessed us.
Bobby is Sicilian and they don’t like for their wives to work, but we had five kids and we were struggling. I had my health and strength, it was only fair that I got a job to help out. My first job was as a cashier at a 7-11. While I was working there, I started a home daycare so I could be home with my kids and work. I did that for 12 years. We had our youngest daughter and it was touch and go for a while. Orazio was at the hospital with the baby while I stayed at home with the other four kids. She is 24 now.
Back in the 80s, an interracial couple wasn’t common. People would point at us at the gas station or grocery stores. They did it so much that we would just laugh at it.
Bobby died on December 6. He went to the hospital in Birmingham on Thanksgiving night after all of the kids came in town for lunch. He was on a special diet, but he got to cheat for Thanksgiving. In his last few weeks, he kept telling me you’re such a good wife. I appreciate you. I couldn’t have done this without you. I wouldn’t have made it if I didn’t have you. He was making peace with death and showing everybody how much he loved us. Bobby knew he got his kids to the point where they could be successful without us. We raised them to depend on each other when they can’t depend on anyone else. Our kids look out for each other.
We had our ups and downs, but we were in it for better or worse, in sickness and in health. People don’t take marriage seriously. They get divorced because they are incompatible. Everybody is incompatible. Everybody has a different DNA, and nobody is the same. Marriage is something you have to work on. There’s going to be some stuff you like and some stuff you don’t like with everybody. You can’t raise someone who is already grown. You have to learn how to communicate without pushing buttons and making the other person angry.
Bobby and I loved caring for people and giving to others. He and my nephew coached baseball for 15 years. They picked up kids and dropped them off for practice and games because the parents couldn’t. I pastor, too. We spent a lot of money on gas and ways to help the youth. Community service is what we do.
We had a party supply store for almost 15 years. We switched it to Mancarella’s Mardi Gras store five years ago. I will be open two weeks after Mardi Gras and then I am closing the store. Everything is 20 percent off so I can get rid of it.
It’s different now working without Bobby. We ran the store together. I’m passion-driven and a workaholic. It’s helping keep me busy and my mind off him. We were building a house and I am getting ready to move in. I’m sure I will keep busy with the kids and grandkids. I am so used to saying ‘we.’ It’s hard to say I.
We put some of his ashes in the anchor that I now wear on a necklace every day. He’s always close to my heart.”
Lillie
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