“I needed a rod in my leg. That was the beginning of the end. I took ten pain pills a day and got hooked. I started shooting Dilaudid after that. Dilaudid didn’t last long, but I loved the warm, fuzzy feeling. Every dollar I had went to drugs, and how much I used depended on how much money I had. Getting money was always on my mind.

When I got sick from withdrawals, I took anything to make them go away. Someone gave me fentanyl and told me it was heroin. Fentanyl isn’t a joke. I almost overdosed. I started testing drugs because I didn’t want to become a statistic.

My mom and dad were addicts. I would find my dad’s syringes as a kid, and thought I would never do drugs. I tried to quit so many times, but it was hard because I was around people who were using. I cried many nights begging God to help me stop using. I finally realized these are choices I made, and God didn’t have anything to do with them. Addiction was a tragedy that I caused.

My ex-boyfriend told me I couldn’t be with him and also use. I chose him and started methadone.

I didn’t want to start methadone because I watched my mom have a hard time with it. The stigma for using it is awful. People treat you like shit for coming to the methadone clinic. I tried everything else to quit, but methadone was the only thing that worked for me. My brain was so hardwired that it took a year just to start feeling normal again.

My boyfriend and methadone saved my life. I am still with him and we have a baby. I want to show my son something different and give him a better life. The Women’s Resource Center taught me how to be a better mom. I just finished the two-year program at the Women’s Resource Center and they helped me with diapers, a car seat, and a high chair.

I have been sober for two years, but I don’t know how to celebrate victories. The only way I knew how to celebrate before was to get f—-d up. Being sober for two years is a big deal and we are going out to eat.

I turned 40 this year. I am so much more relaxed and able to breathe. I don’t want to go back.”

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August 31 is Overdose Awareness Day and September is National Recovery Month. We have so much to learn from people in recovery or family or friends who lost a loved one to a drug overdose, so I am going to share some of these stories over the next six weeks. If you have a story of recovery, substance use disorder, or losing someone you care about to an overdose, message me because I would like to hear it.

If you are in South Alabama, come to After Dopesick: A Conversation with Steve Loyd and Friends This Wednesday, Aug. 31 at 6 p.m. at the Saenger Theater. I will be on the panel with Dr. Steve Loyd and Beth Macy talking about addiction, recovery and what more our community can do about it. Dr. Loyd’s early medical career and addiction became the inspiration for the doctor played by Micheal Keaton in the hit Hulu series, “Dopesick.” Based on the best-selling non-fiction book, “Dopesick: Dealers, Doctors, and the Drug Company that Addicted America,” by Beth Macy, the series was watched by 10 million viewers and was nominated for 14 Emmys.

The event is free and sponsored by the Drug Education Council.
Lynn