“I grew up in Brazil. I came here in 1977. I had two brothers who lived in New Jersey. I lost my arm when I was 9 years old in a school bus accident. I had my arm outside the window and a truck collided with the bus and took off my arm. I have learned to live without it and don’t think of myself as without an arm. I became a school teacher in Brazil. My future husband, Marcos, grew up in the U.S. and learned Spanish in the house because his parents were from Spain. He met my sister-in-law at a part-time job and they became friends. My sister-in-law liked him and tried to set him up with her sister and cousin. Neither one of them worked. Then she told him about me but didn’t tell him about my arm. She called and told me about him and that I needed to marry him. I said I would write to him. He sent me a three-page letter written in English and I didn’t know how to speak any English. I had my girlfriend translate it and it took almost two months. I told my sister-in-law this wouldn’t work. She told him to write me in Spanish because Spanish is similar to Portuguese. I bought a dictionary and it took two or three weeks to translate his letters. In one letter, he told me he wanted to come to Brazil to meet me so I had to tell him about my arm. He said it didn’t matter, what mattered was what is inside. He came to Brazil around my birthday and brought an engagement ring. When he came, I was so nervous at the airport. I had his picture in my hand. Many men came off first and I kept hoping they weren’t him. When he saw me and he said, ‘Hello, Elvira,’ I fainted. He spent nine days in Brazil. No one understood him, but my family loved him.I didn’t understand much of what he said either. The custom was for us to never be alone. The night before he left, he said, ‘You aren’t obligated to marry me. You don’t know me and you would have to to leave your family. If you decide you want to marry me, you can write or call me collect and I will look for a house. If you marry me, I promise I am going to love you for the rest of my life.’ I thought that was very nice. He bought a beautiful house for us with five bedrooms because we said we wanted to have four kids. He furnished the house and planned the wedding. He took care of everything. It was so nice and I didn’t deserve it. I went to the U.S. in July and stayed with my brother and in September we got married. We had one daughter.

Marcos and I were married for 33 years. He passed away nine years ago from bone cancer. My daughter got married in the hospital sooner than she planned so her dad could participate. We had cake and champagne. He passed away three days later. I was a very lucky woman, whatever God had planned for me was a good way. I learned that I have to go with my gut and I knew the love with Marcos would grow. We married four times because we wanted to renew our vows. I bought a wedding dress and he bought a suit each time. We did it once in Brazil. We did the honeymoon again, too. He made me cards for all holidays but made me promise to put them in a box and bury them with him, so I did. I will never be interested in another man. No one can replace him. I hope everyone can find a love like this.”