“I grew up here in Theodore. These pastures were full of cows. My granddaddy and daddy had cows at our cousins’ land and down the road. There were so many woods. We rode four-wheelers and horses and did everything in these fields. We were outside sunup to sundown, with no care in the world. Daddy grew sugar cane, peas, and okra. When we got in trouble, guess what? Come in late if you want to, but you aren’t sleeping. Get out there and work.

I was the youngest of five and always had to wait. We had horses, but they weren’t touchable to me because I was the baby. My brother and sisters rode by themselves; I had to wait until someone was with me. Wait. Wait. Wait. I wasn’t as headstrong back then and didn’t realize I could just jump on and go. I didn’t have to wait for permission. Now, I do things and ask for forgiveness later.

I went into the Army because I didn’t want to go to school for another four years after high school. I was Daddy’s and Granddaddy’s girl, and it was hard when I was sent to Germany. I couldn’t get back here in a day, but I was flying across that water every chance I got, trying to get home.

After the Army, I went back to school and got my bachelor’s, master’s, and doctorate degrees in psychology, counseling, and divinity. It was God’s plan versus my plan. He won. 

When I got out of the Army, I also bought my first horse. Her name was Midnight, and I got to train and love him. But my husband, Mack, died in 2012. I sold everything and moved back to South Carolina. I was without horses for ten years.

There was a time when both of my oldest kids were in the hospital. It was overwhelming, and I  went home to rest and see my youngest son, Ace. It had been seven years since Mack had died, and I hadn’t really cried over it. But sitting in my chair in my room, all of the tears came out. There was a horse painted behind my bed and a horse statue that Mack got me on my dresser. As I cried, the horses were running and dancing in my head. I looked down at the horseshoe bracelet on my wrist. I had left horses for those years, but they never left me. The pieces started connecting. Everything was going to be okay.

Ace and I took horseback riding lessons together so he could learn how to ride. I promise you that when I sat on that horse, it was like the heavens opened up and the sun shined down. I was back.

I started getting horses, but the horse has to choose me. Horses are self-discovery and a partnership. I protect them and they protect me. They also helped my heart heal. I lost my husband. I also had PTSD and MST, which is military sexual trauma. I can relate to a woman who has hidden scars, who hasn’t quite found herself, or who needs to transform and transition. 

That’s why I started Healing Hearts equine therapy. We have Beamer, Major, Norman, Shadow, Trouble, and Pretty Boy. Look at Major with that quiet energy. It’s like, Major, what medicine are you giving me? Major is so lovable and easygoing. I found my purpose.

We have done work with kids with disabilities and kids that have just never been outside of that city life. If you bring a horse to the city, the kids lose their mind, but they lose it in a good place. 

We bought 43 acres in McIntosh and have been clearing the land and putting up a cabin. Hopefully, Healing Hearts will open there soon. It is a sanctuary–I always write Healing Hearts Sanctuary. It will be a place of peace and presence with retreats in a therapeutic setting. When you come through the gate, you can drop all your pressures and come into a whole new world. The horses are just here to assist us.

I’m excited about the future with Healing Hearts, and everything is falling into place.. I go up there and pray and thank God for it, but I still sometimes wake up in a dream. We’re expanding a little bit from just horses to farming. I’m doing everything my daddy did. Sometimes, I’m cooking in the kitchen; that’s something I didn’t do, but it’s like my grandma is sitting in here. 

I’ve done a lot of different things, including being a dental assistant and working with boxers. But my time in the service, along with my husband’s time in the service and his unfortunate passing, brought me to be where I am now. It’s why I can do what I’ve loved all along and don’t have to be on anyone’s clock. Nothing brings me the peace that I have now. I want to share that with others.”

Yashica

(Yashica has written three books: Sacred Hoofprints, A Mother’s Love Tested, and The Kiss of Judas: Understanding Betrayal and its Purpose)