“When I was 14, was emancipated by a Kentucky judge from a mother who was more concerned about getting high than caring for her children. I was the same age as my oldest daughter is now, but I grew up fast and have supported myself ever since. I was the youngest of 10 siblings, and most of brothers and sisters were ‘screw-ups,’ but I learned from their mistakes. I was an honor student working on scholarships, but I got pregnant before my senior year. My school didn’t accept pregnant students and I was forced to drop out and get my GED.

So many people said I ruined my life. I could have given my daughter up for adoption, but that child was my saving grace. Becoming a mother at 17 kept me straight. She taught me feelings I didn’t know were possible, and I chose to do better for her.

I receive no child support from the fathers of my girls. With no high school diploma, service industry jobs are my only option. Between serving at a restaurant in downtown Fairhope, weekend bartending shifts, and extra jobs, I made $23,000 in 2019. The school kept calling me about my daughter’s toothache. I am not a negligent mother and knew there was a problem, but I had to work and save for months to pay $900 for a root canal.

As a single parent, there is a fine line between supporting your kids and raising them. It is hard to do both well and I always feel like a shitty parent. I work as hard as I can for a child to be in the band, or simpler things like doing something with a friend. I don’t want to be my parents. I want my kids to know I am in their corner.

My daughters and I live in a house outside the city limits with three other adults with full-time jobs. My share of the rent is $400 per month, plus $100 for utilities. We split the other bills, scraping together what they can to make ends meet.

Living in a house with other adults is not the best way to raise kids but I can’t afford to live in Fairhope or Baldwin County without an arrangement like this. I could get a shitty apartment in Fairhope, or a trailer with holes in the floor that I can’t keep warm, but I don’t want to raise my kids in that. I can afford to live in Loxley, but I don’t want to send my kids to school there. I am busting my ass to give my kids something better than I had.

The Coronavirus has hurt. I am high risk for infection and haven’t worked at the restaurant in six weeks. My unemployment application hasn’t gone through and I haven’t received my stimulus check.

Luckily, I had enough in savings that I was okay for a few weeks, but I am down to change. Financially it is devastating. Mentally, it is just as bad. Working is what I know how to do and I am not good when I don’t do it. I don’t know when I can go back.

Thankfully, my roommates are still employed as essential workers and have compassion for my situation. They are still working and have been covering my part, Without them, I would be back in Missouri living with my mother in an unhealthy environment with my girls, because that is the only place we have to go.

With two teenagers constantly at home, my grocery bill is now $200 a week. That is money I don’t have. I also have a “doughnut on my car” because my tire blew out and I can’t afford to replace it.

As bad as this is, I have single-parent friends who have it much worse. This came at a terrible time for the service industry and those of us who live off tips. We were coming out of winter, our slow season. Spring and summer are when we make most of our money.

Despite an empty bank account, I am grateful for the time with my daughters.
I have worked all of my life and never had the opportunity to be with my girls like this. I cook dinner every night and have movie days on rainy days. That has been my saving grace. Along with yoga and a lot of fishing. I struggle with depression and said my girls and daily responsibilities keep her out of a bad place.

I am also scared because I don’t have insurance. I have thyroid disease and often go without medicine because I have to pay for rent and food. Without medication, the hours of work wear me down.

I bust my ass, but it is for a good reason. I grew up around drugs and refuse to pass that lifestyle down. I want my girls to have a hometown like this. They are happy and healthy with a future of better opportunities here.”

This is from “A Tale of Two Cities,” my story running this week in Lagniappe about the other side of Utopia the hidden problems in Fairhope. Here is the link to the story: https://lagniappemobile.com/65405-2/

*Jenny is not her real name, but she told her story so that others struggling in Fairhope will know they aren’t alone.

Update: Just talked to Jenny and she got her first unemployment check this week and the first thing she bought was a tire.