I did what I had to do to eat and live

January 19, 2019

“I was kicked out of my house and on the streets when I was 18. I was a rebellious child seeking the love I was never given. I didn’t have any money so I did what I had to do to eat and live so I became a dancer. At first, it was the best choice for me because I had taken dance lessons all of my life. I was a good dancer and made quite a bit of money. I also had a great body. It is gone now. I thought I enjoyed dancing but things got out of hand. I was doing drugs and drinking about a fifth of booze a day just to dance. I stayed high. I woke up some mornings, not knowing where I was and how I got there. I was abused by my boyfriend at home. My nose is crooked because he broke it. I got tired of the life. I had terrible self-esteem. I thought I was just a piece of meat and treated like one. God spoke to me through those times reminding me he was there. He used me for the other girls even in times when I was running for my life. God kept me safe. I knew it wasn’t right and I wanted out. God sent a man. I didn’t trust him at first because I didn’t trust anyone. He got me out and got me my first real job. I didn’t know how to work or make a decent living.

If this had happened to me today, I would be out on the road somewhere being trafficked and no one would have ever found me. What I went through seems like a nightmare. Once in a while I will dream that I am dancing and pretending I am having a good time. I don’t like the dreams. It is like another life that I didn’t live. I want to help girls who are in the same situation I was in and God called me to Advocate for Freedom to help kids.
I raised my daughter so much differently and gave her the love and encouragement that I never got. She just moved to New York to be a professional model. She is going to be everything I should have been. I feel like I have wasted my life. I want to do so much to help others, but I am waiting on the Lord to tell me what is next. I am a registered respiratory therapist. It was a miracle that I made it to college because I barely graduated from high school. My parents told me I would never amount to anything and that I have no brain. I trusted God that he would see me through.”

1 Comment

  1. Mary Anne Ball

    Far from wasting your life, you have achieved a great deal against terrible odds, and you lovingly raised your daughter! What an impact you are making on the community!

    Reply

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