“I am 67 years old and found out last fall that I was insignificant in my father’s life. I knew that, but to hear the words from my 90-year-old father was a relief. For the first time, he was authentic in how he felt about me has his daughter. As I was working on my book, I started putting it all together. My life has been a paper bag filled with business cards. Every card collected over 49 years of business, life, and volunteering. Over 10,000 business cards representing a person I have had a connection with since the 1970s. They are the people of my life and they all have my card. Going through these has freed me to validate my failures and choices I made that did not work out. I realized I am significant. What my father thinks of me no longer matters. I went through a time in my life to be the person my parents wanted me to be but I could never meet their standards. They didn’t want me to meet their standards. I quit blaming them and started looking at the positive times with them.

My mother was a prescriptive drug addict. She started giving me a half of her pill when I was young as four. I was an active, curious, and creative child. I think she gave it to me to calm me down so it would be easier for her to deal with. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t identify it. Someone didn’t care enough to take care of me and just gave me something to make her life easier. My mother went from city to city to get drugs. She had a standing appointment on Tuesday nights at the doctor in our hometown. I also grew up with both sets of grandparents and great-grandparents and saw the characteristics passed down through families. I became interested in the brain and how and why it works.

When I moved to Mobile in 2002, I didn’t know what adventure God was putting me through. I got married and that turned into a soap opera. I didn’t like Mobile at first but realized I needed to become involved to help with the issues I saw. I shared myself and my resources to help as many people as I could and found where I could make a difference. The joy of being significant is the joy of knowing your own value.  Working with people helped me to form who I am now.

The mental health practice came 10 years ago. There are so many people in need. They need to know someone cares. Sometimes it is just silence and a hug. In 2016 one of my best friends committed suicide. I was the last one she talked with, but I missed the signals. I have been bringing out awareness for the hard issues such as suicide and the connection between mental health and gun violence. We need our community to be mentally well. Working with the Gulf Coast Mental Health Coalition, we are helping communities become trauma-informed communities. We can work together to reduce trauma. Relationships are so important with whatever we do in life. We are significant to each other.”