“I’ve wanted to be in the military since I was six. An Army veteran talked at our school; I wanted to do what he did. He told me I would change my mind. I was like, ‘Probably not.’ Joining the Army seemed selfless and a way to give back. I was supposed to do that.

My mom was in the Army but wouldn’t sign my papers when I turned seventeen, even though her parents signed hers at the same age. My dad didn’t sign them because he thought the military was a man’s world. I moved away at eighteen to live with my aunt in Dothan. Got a job at Waffle House. Three years later, I came home and saw my Army recruiter on my twenty-first birthday. Soon, I was in Montgomery, taking my oath. I only told my mother and grandmother. I couldn’t afford for anyone to talk me out of this again. I was a naive twenty-one-year-old.

I also got pregnant in December 2006, shortly after I got home from training, and had my daughter in September 2007. I received my orders for Iraq sixteen months later. The war in Iraq and Afghanistan had been going on for years when I joined, so I thought I knew what I was getting into.

Nothing prepares you for being in Iraq. When I got boots on the ground, it was like, ‘Okay. This is not what I was thinking.’ I was terrified with a young child to think about. I was there in 2009 and 2010 and our mission was shutting down the bases. I had a military Commercial Driver’s License and drove supplies from one location to another.

I’ve been out of the Army for ten years, two years longer than I was in. Sometimes I’m glad I did it, and think my daughter will understand. Other days, I question what it was for. Was it worth not sleeping and having back problems? I don’t regret it, but I do question if I made a positive difference.

I came home from Iraq bitter and angry. I returned to my bank job but struggled dealing with people. That didn’t work. I got a job driving a truck and delivering tire–alone. I only had a high school diploma and worked my way up driving. Got jobs as operations supervisor and terminal coordinator. I was where I wanted to be. I fell in love and was getting married for the first time. Planning a wedding during the pandemic was hard; we eloped on Aug. 14, 2020. I was laid off four days later: COVID hit the trucking industry, too.

Losing that job sent me into another spiral. I was just going through the motions. But I had a daughter watching everything I did. I cashed in on my military benefits and applied for college at the University of South Alabama. Got accepted. My family didn’t believe I could do it. For a long time, I didn’t believe I was capable of going to college, but I came to a fork in the road and wanted to show people that I could do whatever the hell I wanted to do–just like the military. I started in Aug. 2021. Was only going to do a semester but fell in love with school and majoring in history. I was thirty-six years old. The other students called me ‘Class Mom.’ I brought them Capri Suns and candy. I hope that when my baby is off at college next year, she finds the good people who give her positive guidance.

I finished my bachelor’s degree in two years and nine months and enjoyed every bit of school. It was amazing to walk across the stage and get that diploma. I started grad school a few weeks later. This past summer, I was a grad assistant in South’s Veterans’ Affairs department. Staying involved with the local veteran’s community is my way of giving back: been there, done that. I am them.

I had wanted to go into the military since I was a kid to do good and give back. I still try to fight the good fight anywhere I can. Right now, I am rescuing flowers from the clearance rack from Lowes, giving them a good life until it’s over.

One thing I hated in the military was running; the only thing I missed about the military was running. I dated a runner, and we went on run dates. I fell in love with running all over again. I ran my first half-marathon in the fall of 2016. I ran a couple of other races and was in the best shape–running my ass off every day. But my mom was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer and passed away. I quit running and picked up 75 pounds. The running community in Mobile has helped me through. I started running regularly again and am almost back to where I was.

I’ve had some wild dreams, but I could never have dreamed anything as good as my life has become. I have a great husband who supports my dreams. I’m not only a college graduate but also getting my masters and working on an academic research project for a university. My new dream is traveling with an archeology team doing the research on their findings. Maybe even getting a PhD.

My amazing daughter is graduating from high school this year. I hope I’m showing her she’s in charge of her life and can always make changes. She says she wants to be a rockstar and a veterinarian. Who am I to say no?”

B. Amber

Message from B. Amber

Staying active with the local veteran community is my way of giving back. Our veterans tend to be overlooked–it’s important to me that they feel seen and heard. September is Suicide Preventiom Awareness month, so look out for your people. I’ve lost several friends to Suicide over the years. Most were veterans, and it’s world shattering every time. One of my closest friends of sixteen years took his life in October of 2023. He was a volunteer firefighter, served honorably in the United States Army, and was a police officer the last years of his life. Suicide is one of the leading causes of death among our veteran community and service members. Sometimes you can save everyone except yourself.