I went through a divorce and it was a terrible time. It is what happens when opposites attract

May 31, 2016

“I went through a divorce and it was a terrible time in my life. It is exactly what happens when opposites attract. It was a lot of fun for a while and then it is too much. I realized how opposite we were when we had a child together and our parenting tactics were so different. At the end there were a lot of fights and I had to decide if we were going to stick around for our daughter, Jetty. The problem with that is she grows up confused and doesn’t get the example of a normal, functioning family when the two parents are undermining each other. She won’t know what a marriage or friendship is supposed to look like and will have to figure that out on her own. My daughter is so young, I decided to get the divorce and she will know the rules are different for mom and dad. It took a year and four months to go through the divorce. When my ex-wife left, I went off the deep end and started drinking too much and going out too much for about a month. I stopped and realized I was becoming someone I didn’t want to be and I am better than that. My ex-wife had destroyed my confidence in myself. She cheated on me when she was four months pregnant and I found out on Valentine’s Day. I forgave here and stayed with her for another two years. I stayed with her because I felt like God told me to stay and I felt like he told me when it was time to walk away. I spent every dime I had on a lawyer and we had move in with my parents to get back on my feet. We recently moved into our own place. I want to write a book about this because I have met other men who are in terrible relationships but are scared that they will never see their kids if they get a divorce. We live in a time where mom gets the rights, but the reality of that is not every woman can turn into a mom. It was an eye opener to me that the mothering instinct is not always magically there. We have joint custody, but I am the primary guardian. Her mom lives 5 hours away. She left. I met my girlfriend at a party at my friend’s place when I was at a low point. We were all rough housing a little bit and she almost choked me out. She put me on the ground. I have four sisters, I was never going to submit to a girl, but my buddy said I was turning purple and to tap out. I tapped out and had to meet her. We have been dating ever since. She has kids and it has been amazing merging our families.”

“I have a degree in hospitality management. I graduated and traveled for almost 8 years. Moved to Central American and hopped around from El Salvador to Costa Rica. I moved to Steamboat Springs and I snowboarded to and from work. It was a great experience. My buddies were living in California so I hitchhiked from Colorado to California and lived there for over 2 years. I ran out of my money and missed my mom and the South, so I moved back home. Got a degree, got married, had a kid and got divorced. Life does it’s thing. I keep busy with lots of projects. I am writing an adventure fantasy novel. I started writing it while I was a gatekeeper at The Grand Hotel, it’s what happens when I am trapped in a box. I just made my first album that I produced. I make electronic beats and it ended up being really weird. I do some painting too. It is cool to have all of that going on in my head, but I spread myself too thin sometimes and can’t focus on one thing and move on even it if is finished or not. It takes forever to finish something because I can’t devote 100 percent to it. I don’t do them for money or fame or for anyone else but me. Even if friends and family are the only ones who ever see or hear it, just by doing it I have succeeded.”


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