“I come to the bay when I need to release everything and find peace. I grew up in Fairhope. There wasn’t much for young people to do. I got into recreational drugs when I was 16. I took a friends’ OxyContin and was immediately hooked on pills. I was in addiction for about seven years. Ninth grade was the last year I completed in school. My parents finally couldn’t deal with it anymore. They told me to get clean or they would have nothing to do with me. They tried to send me to rehab, but I wouldn’t go. I left in the middle of the night and slept in a tent at Ft. Morgan. I was homeless for two years. I weighed 89 pounds and was lifeless. Sometimes I wouldn’t speak to my family for months because I couldn’t afford to call. They thought I was dead each time they didn’t hear from me.
My family was my lifeline, and I saw how much they hurt. My brother married and was expecting his first child. I wanted to be a part of my nephew’s life; I could be the cool aunt. I called my mom and told her I was ready for rehab. I entered Home of Grace in 2017, and everything changed. I graduated from the program but needed more time. I worked there for another eight months.
I am blessed to be alive. Fentanyl became the big drug. I lost five friends to overdoses. I watched people I loved die before me. I was the first in my friend group to get help and stop using drugs. Others followed and started telling me about getting clean and going to church. It’s the best feeling to see people I went through the trenches with come out on the other side.
Sometimes I think about all I missed while I was stuck in addiction. But everything happens for a reason. Now I can help others going through the same thing and be a voice for them. You can’t understand what a tough road addiction is unless you’ve gone down it. Helping others change their lives is a meaningful purpose in life.
When COVID hit and everything shut down, my best friend and I were getting unemployment benefits, so we took a road trip to camp for a week at a state park in Georgia. At the end of that week, neither of us wanted to go home. We kept going and camped in 15 states in two months.
Before that trip, I had no confidence. I felt like I was not good enough with nothing to show for my life. My name was Emily, but I didn’t know who Emily was. I learned to let go of the negative thoughts on that trip. I could do anything if I could live in a tent across the country. Covid was awful, but I am thankful for that time.
Montana was the last state on our trip, and I fell in love with it. I am moving to Kalispell, MT in the spring. I am going by myself, but my parents retire in three years and may move there, too.
It is exciting to think about starting over and learning who I am supposed to be. No one knows me in Montana. It’s time for a change and leaving the past behind.”
Emily
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