“I walk to the bay once a day, contemplating what it’s like to be 54 years old. I also think about childhood trauma. When I was a kid, I didn’t think I’d live to see my fifties. My prayer when I was a teenager was: God, make me straight, make me a woman, or kill me. I didn’t want to be a woman. I didn’t want to die. Straight seemed to be the only sensible thing to ask for. I turned 21 and decided to keep living. I went from Bible college to getting a masters in sociology, trying to understand my place in the world.

My place is now caring for my mom. She was living with my older sister, but my sister contracted Covid in 2021 and passed away. Mom’s health was declining; they kept that a secret. Mom is stubborn. Not stubborn in a bad way, just stubborn. She doesn’t recognize her limitations or that her abilities are changing. If we were more economically stable, we could put her in a nursing home. But Mom worked as a nurse in a nursing home and wouldn’t go into one.

I brought Mom to live with me in Mobile. Her health continued to decline. My other sister said she could live with her in Fairhope, but I had to come, too—she couldn’t do this by herself. I moved to Fairhope and refocused my life to taking care of my mother. Caring for each other has reconnected us in a more meaningful way.”

Thomas