Sobriety helped me realize that I need to keep my candle lit and shine on others

November 29, 2016

“My first memory is of my mom, who suffered from manic depression, laying lifeless on her bed. I was six-years-old and a friend’s babysitter had to tell me how to call 911. My mother had tried to kill herself and was revived by paramedics. I tried not to think about it for a long time, but the more I talked with my therapist the more I realized that memory from the incident with my mother was such a life-defining one that I couldn’t ignore it anymore.  I also realized that I couldn’t honestly remember anything before it and it became the placeholder for my childhood. I was an only child and alone most of my childhood. I longed for some sense of family and a regular life. I always drew growing up but it wasn’t until I started to get tattooed that I saw drawing in a different light, one that was creating an image for people to wear for the rest of their lives. The longer I have been tattooing, the more I have learned about the power of strong illustration, and the complicated world of a “simple” line. Suicide  has been a lingering song in my life, but sobriety helped me realize that I need to work on keeping my candle lit and try to utilize my time with it to guide and shine on others.  Today I am grateful for my family and life and my love for myself. Those are the things that keep me wanting to work through yet another day. I keep my focus on the only thing I have in this life, the present.”


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