Seen my share of Broken halos

Folded wings that used to fly

They’ve all gone

Wherever they go

Broken halos that used to shine

Don’t go looking

For the reasons

Don’t go asking Jesus why

We’re not meant to know the answers

They belong to the by and by

The funeral for Skyelar Sanders started with Chris Stapleton’s song “Broken Halos” about unanswered questions. Pictures at the front of the chapel showed Skyelar with her 5-year-old daughter, friends and family, and a life-size cutout of Justin Bieber that she once took as her date to homecoming.

Skyelar was a daughter, a sister, and a mother. She was also one of thirty-four overdose deaths in Baldwin County so far this year. Drug overdose is the leading cause of death for Americans between the ages of eighteen and forty-five, according to the Drug Enforcement Agency. Many of those overdoses, like Skyelar’s, involve fentanyl.

Skyelar’s mother, Kelley Sanders, started telling her daughter’s story to educate about the dangers of fentanyl.

Sitting next to a sign in her kitchen that reads, “Every Moment Matters,” Kelley said Skyelar loved to sing and auditioned for “The Voice” and “America’s Got Talent.” She also loved the elderly and became a CNA working for a nursing home. Skyelar had a big personality and lived life to the fullest. That changed when a guy she loved introduced her to fentanyl in 2020. Taking the drug started as a way to get through hard days and feel better. Then it became a habit.

“Drugs took control of Skyelar’s life to the point that she lived in a car an hour away from her child and family,” Kelley said. “I get that there were mental issues, but this is something I’ll never understand.”

Kelley tried getting Skyelar into rehab; Skyekar said she didn’t need it. Wouldn’t go. A judge sent Skyelar to court-ordered rehab; she left the next day and got an escape charge.

Kelley kept an eye on Skyelar, paying for her cellphone, reading her messages, and tracking her on Life 360. Always checking to see if her daughter was still alive. But Skyelar used that same phone to contact drug dealers. Kelley saw those messages, too, and sometimes stepped in. Skeylar kept making excuses, denying she had a problem.

“We tried tough love. I wouldn’t give her money but would have a pizza delivered to her to know she was eating,” Kelley said. “We also made it clear she could come home or call us anytime.”

Skyelar got out of the Orange Beach Jail on June 12 and went home for a couple of weeks. Kelley sensed Skyelar used again and made her take a drug test: it was positive for fentanyl. Skyelar called it a “false positive” but said she would do outpatient treatment on her own.

A few days later, on June 29, Skyelar was making pancakes for her sick daughter, but Kelley knew something was off. That afternoon, Skyelar went to see her grandmother, who lived nearby. When Skyelar didn’t answer her phone, Kelley went to the house to find her. She unlocked the bathroom door. Skyelar was dead on the floor.

It was Skyelar’s third overdose. Kelley learned to carry Narcan and had already used it once to save her daughter.  This time, it was too late.

“We’ve been going through this for four years. I knew I could get a call at any time saying Skyelar died,” Kelley said. “That’s a hard way to live.”

After the funeral, Kelley found the journal Skyelar used in a therapy exercise while she was in jail. There was a letter to Kelley that Skyelar never intended her to see. She wrote, “I know you want to know why I use drugs,” and explained that she felt worthless, but the drugs were like a warm hug.

“There aren’t any problems. It feels good.”

Kelley began to understand that Skyelar didn’t want to die; she just wanted to feel better.

“Skyelar didn’t think when she walked out of our house that it was the last time,” Kelley said. “But if somebody is doing fentanyl, anytime can be the last time.”

Four suspects were arrested and charged with manslaughter in Skyelar’s death. This is the first case in Baldwin County prosecuted under a new Alabama law making it manslaughter to sell, give away, or distribute a controlled substance containing fentanyl if the person dies as a result of using it.

“I’m glad they’re being held accountable. Maybe this will be the beginning of the decline of fentanyl sales in Baldwin County,” Kelley said. “But they are also parents of young children and suffering with their own addiction issues. I hope this is their opportunity to get clean.”

Skyelar once told Kelley she wanted to go to schools and talk with kids about addiction.

“Skyelar may not be here anymore, but her story isn’t over. I’m sharing it for her.”

Aug. 31 is International Overdose Awareness Day.

(photo courtesy of Kelley)